I'm really starting to like my coworkers on a personal level. It'll be hard leaving them for alabama. But It'll be worth it after i get my life back on track

This morning jim tried to pick me up from my house. If failed.. I sent him perfect directions and everything, but he couldn't read the street signs because it was too dark. Lol at five forty i finally told him to give it up and I.d meet him at work. My cab driver got me there at the same time jim showed up. Bless him for tryin, actually it was really all God who made sure that if woke up on time and called me. I prayed to him last night.

This weather shit is annoying as ever

I'm excited to see kristiana again, i decided to go to the city after all my back sliding. I'm on the metra train to the city now. We are going to watch some movie she won us tickets for, lol she always wins tickets to movie premiers i used to be on it too, but ever since i moved to elgin it just hasn't been a priority

I just read that i'll need to shave my head three to four times a week for that shine... I don't know if i want a shiny head that badly. Maybe i'll shave my head tonight and apply oil. Then i'll see whether it is truly worth doing it so often. By the way, i'm still a little sacred of shaving my head myself

I'm no expert on raising kids, but this lady is really babying this little brat. The thing is, if was just acting up, throwing his toy gun, firing it at walls and doors, and while she told him to stop, if just laughed and said no. This kid is around six or seven..

Testing out the new barber shop downtown. Fades and blades

Is it so weird that i like being in my own little world seventy percent of the time? I don't think so, but when i interact with people again it feels like they are forcing it. Or maybe that is just my paranoia talking... It does that more times than I.d like to mention

Just took four pills to help me sleep better. I hope i don't wake up a zombie

Such bull

I'm not worried about mayra. I know she is too much of a chicken to ever tell her parents anything important

Sitting in the laundry mat wondering if i could make medical grade ether on my own.

With all the mental talk about whether to bring my book or to leave it at home, i thought i brought it. To find that i brought every other book instead..

Talking to my ex jenn, really lets me see how far i've come spiritually and mentally in the past year. When we started dating i was still so confused about everything. I tried just about everything to help my life make sense, seem worth it. When all i really needed to do was pray

Damn i love and hate over nights... People are so weird

I'm reading the bible almost daily. Weird work schedule its hard to have a life.. I had a really good talk with my mom today about religion (christianity). I really don.t want to leave kohls. But i figured out that kohls will be there if i feel like i want to return to elgin once i have a car and a job at a hospital or nursing place. I'll be able to make alot more money. And have alot more fun with a car

It just got real. The house is literally splitting up, this morning tonya came in the kitchen and let us know that by may next year everyone is moving out. Thats fine, i already knew that. But she singled tara out. And called her a lot of hurtful words. That i don.t think are true

Wake up to a slap

Petty, people believing everything they read online. I'm more than happy to give one fifty a month for rent, and keep my food stamps. More than happy. I just wonder why she didn't just ask me sooner or in private for that matter like i was on a court tv show. Its a good thing I found an online bank that doesn't have too many fees, Green Dot Co looks pretty good, i've read a few reviews online, and i've even seen their rating with the BBB (which is an A+) I almost got sucked into this Netscape, or netcash something or other, it was a card similar to green dot, but they had horrible reviews and a few ppl even went so far as to say that they were a scam. They didn't seem to have been rated by the BBB yet. I printed out a blank check (for direct deposit) from Greendot in the library and I feel good about it. Now when I get paid I won't have to wait on a paper check like I am now.. lol The money will be deposited on Thursday night, every Thursday night. It Is also a God send that Jantiece will be here, with the recent drama from this morning, having someone else in the house will be nice. Even though I know the misunderstanding was quelled I still have an inky feeling about the future in that house. I'm gonna save my money and get the heck out before they try to pull me into some shit I don't need to be in.

Quick Recap

I forgot my Damn login info for blogger, oh well i guess a lot has happened so lets start off with work. I've managed to scope a lot more hours than i was scheduled for and i also did an overnight shift. It was okay, it went by quickly and i got paid an extra dollar and twenty five cents per hour. I met a few new ppl at work, well honestly I met just about everyone at work. I've even made a few new friends. Vicky is my immediate supervisor at first I wasn't so sure but now I know she loves me! Dave the store manager has always been really friendly and helpful. At home things are better than they have ever been, I've got my own room (in the basement) and apart from the noise of everyone walking over my head it is heaven! The day we moved I was a little stressed out, I was originally supposed to switch rooms with C.J, but he wasn't having it at all, and his mom was too afraid of him to enforce he switch rooms like she did with kenisha and Antonio. I'm waiting on my first check to come from work so I can paty hard in the city on saturday, i'm only spending like 24 hours in chicago but thats long enough for me to unwind and really have a good time with my peeps. I don't know about all my friends but I know that I can count on Steven (surprisingly) he has been one of the main ones who really talked to me about everything without judging me. Unfortunately Christina the person I felt closest to in the city besides steven isn't as nonjudgmental as she would like to believe. Its fine, I knew that some relationships wouldn't remain the same, I was just hoping that from the people I called my best friends and my "sun" I would have had a little more support in becoming a member of the cloth. I know its a BIG change but if steven (one of my wildest friends) could accept it, why can't she? I know I'm being silly, and selfish. She can choose to do what she wants to do. I just want her to know that even if she feels like we can't be as close as we once were, that I'm not going to turn my back on a true friend.

I remember when "powder my nose" meant snorting a bump

Real Work feels real Good

Today I rode tony's bike to Kohls.. at 4:30 in the morning, I got there and I met a new lady named Wilma, she is a sweet heart, and from West Virginia! Work was really fun, we worked as a blitz team to get the store ready after yesterdays power outage. I also got a GREAT thingy today from Blanca, I know me and blanca are gonna be good friends, she is a little bit older than me but oh well. I found out Heath is older too, he is the other new guy on freight and he has an interview for a baseball coach position at Elgin High, the same school CJ goes too. I stayed an extra 4 hours at work! So my first check is gonna look sweet! I found out today that I really don't need a bank account, I mean they are still going to send me a check in the mail so its all good! :) Oh and I saw Abby again today, she is a girl I met at orientation, we totally hit it off when we teamed up last friday and she even drove me to walgreens in south elgin. She is cute, but she is still a stranger... In other news my mom is asking my cousin Andre to help me find a car, but the stupid driving schools out here wanna charge me 75$ an hour!! Forget that.. Well maybe I'll pay for one or two classes, actually if I can pay for 3 hours, which is 190$ then i'll be good for the test, and my lisence!! :) So much is going on I'll keep it comin, if I feel like it...

The Tornado

The tornado! that south elgin ALMOST got today sucked, the power went out at Kohl, and half of Elgin was without power for a few hours, I left at 9, and the power was still off, it was crazy! The lights went out when we were unloading the truck that came in, I've never been scared of tornadoes but I've got to admit I was pretty nervous. Everyone was pretty chill about it and joking, at first I was bored stiff just sitting there looking at these total strangers. I mentioned I rode my bike to work and like two ppl said that they saw me on randall and that I was crazy and blah blah blah, but I don't think its crazy doing whatever it takes to get to my NEW job on time, including riding for 6 miles in tornado weather. A bunch more stuff happened but it isn't worth mentioning.

I had a good day, a little boring staring at a computer screen for almost five hours straight. I'm getting up at four tomorrow morning for work. When i have more time i'll blog in more detail about my training day. My mom's check came. Thank god, i have a lot of time on my hands and i can do my laundry and fix gladys

First day of Training

I'm riding tony's bike to work, when I first got on the little monster it felt like I was going to break it, it turns out all it needed was to be set on the correct gear and the chain needed to be moved over a smidgen. I don't see why people in the city buy mountain bikes to begin with, they aren't living in a hilly state and hardly ever leave the neighborhood. Oh well it isn't my money, speaking of money I hope my mom's check comes today, more than that I hope I can open a new account with charter one so I won't have to pay 7 dollars every time I want to get a check from my mom cashed. I also have to set up a bank account because Kohls is "paperless" which means they only do direct deposits and such.. What a pain, my credit is so low I don't know what to do. At work they have this credit card, that they could add my funds too, it'll be another pain because it has a bunch of fees for EVERYTHING. Its fine, i'll get a bank account on one of my off days.

Therapy for Stuttering

I am currently going through self therapy for my stuttering problem. The main things the program teaches are to first change how i feel about my stuttering and secondly how to change the abnormal manner in which i use my vocal muscles. The book i read was a great help, such a great help i decided on taking notes and then reading those notes aloud and saving it as an audio file. I thank God that i've lived as long as i have, that i can truly grow as a man and a child of God.

Sunday

Its sunday morning and the head of the house has an attitude, i don't understand why everyday someone in this house is pissy. I'm happy because i start training for kohls tomorrow. I'll have to borrow Shane's bike though. I hope if still has it, they tend to get their bikes stolen a lot!

Watching nine after eating two homemade burgers. I do love staying in watching movies. I watched in the electric mist with tommy lee jones while the girls were still here. Such a nice day, and its only partially finished. It is quite nice having that sleepy full feeling and slowly laying out on the couch with the knowledge that you don't have any appointments today.

Saturday

I just found out the rental tv is gone. The woman i live with moved it out. Probably for more money for the rent and the water bill. Its amazing how people manange to mismanage their money... Lord knows i've made some mistakes in the past but she is an adult! With four grown kids, and none of then are interested in helping her out or doing something to make some money. I was the same way, heck i was worse, disrespecting my mom's house and not trying to help out. Thats why she kicked me out when i was 19, thank goodness she did or else i never would have learned how to be a man who takes case of himself.

The best drinks are the sodas in glass bottles, luckily they have a lot of them for sale at citgo. I think i'll peel off for a bit and read some of my new book. I feel like feeling sexy! I like erotic stories, i only started reading them after i read lets get it on by jill nelson. Then i read the original novel, sexual healing. The books aren't so much erotica, but the scenes described in the books got me so hot i started to look for books with a sexy edge

I love sitting at home just eating and sitting on my futon. Today was really great so far, i got out of bed first and made myself breakfast. Eggs with cheese, pan fried potatoes and biscuits! Then i talked to my mom on my way to the library and watched bad girls club. I finally got my book i've been waiting for. "I just can't help the way i feel." jan and demika are visiting this weekend. Its always good seeing jan, she's like the sealest person i know. Laughing with her and tara make living here worth while.

Sitting in my room thinking about the things i have allowed to come into my life. The good and the bad.